I am home for spring festival at my hometown, Changchun, China.
These days, after visiting many people, friends, family and other relatives, I found that Chinese, at least, the Chinese around me are NOT HAPPY.
The first person I notice who is not happy is one of my best friends. We have known each other for thirteen years. After I moved to the UK we were not talking to each other as often as before. But we are still close. So every time when I come back, I will ask her out to meet. This time I noticed that she is not happy. Actually she was never happy for the past three years. She always complains, her work, her boss, her boyfriend, her mom… and for the three years there were same complaints every year.
The second person I notice who is not happy is my grandma. She is worried about everyone in our family. My aunt who got divorced 20 years ago and being single still now. My cousin, who is 30 years old but still has no plan to get married. Me, who lives so far away from family… She misses everyone who is not around her, and she is worrying about everything that she could not be able to help. She almost does not spend any money, and tries to save as much money as possible to give it to her grandkids who are already grown up and have their own jobs. When the grandkids get busy, have no time to visit her for sometimes, she would complain that they were not grateful.
The last person is my mom. She is not happy all the time. She took a really good care of my aunt on my dad side, when she was very sick. She helped my uncle found a job and solved his financial problem. She took care of my grandpa and bring him many gifts all the time. She helps everyone she thought that they need help, sometimes she gave them subjects, sometimes she gave lectures. When people make her unhappy, she would just keep it to herself, saying nothing at the time, then complain later. She is not happy with my dad most of the time, at least she complain to me about him every chance she got, but she still saying nothing in front of him, and do not allow me to say anything to him. Even sometimes I feel that she made mistake or she mistaken something, she gets annoyed every time when I say things for my dad or offered her any solutions.
Chinese people like to get involved into others’ life, espcially the older ones. That’s the way they show their caring. But the caring is not for nothing, they are expecting the repay as well. They see it as an investment, so if you do not give the thing they want, they’d get upset. So for the result they want, some older would get into your life to try to influence your decision for life. In my case, some want me to move back to China to stay close to them, so in the future, I can be useful to them when they getting older.
This may sound like 500 words of complaint, but if you are reading this, please notice that complaining solves nothing. You Have To Do things to change the situation. Things won’t just get better because you keep talking about it for ten years. Some people may be just like complaining, then please talk to a mirror, because you have no rights to waste others’ live. I was one of those unhappy Chinese, I complain about things but never thought about how to change them, or myself. Living in the UK makes me a happy person. I learnt to take charge of my life, and make the decision which makes me happy. I like the western culture more like the Chinese one sometimes, because there is a comfortable distance among people. There is no need to explain yourself to every single one who is ” care about you”.